Letter to AG

What. A. Day. 

I am emotionally drained. I am physically drained. I am just drained. My heart aches for our unborn babies. My heart aches, remembering all of the heart ache and (at the time) devastation we experienced. 

I started a college class today on advancing youth development. Great class so far. I really only signed up for the class because I needed a lot of recertification points in not a lot of time. Before starting, all I could think about was just making it through this class before baby girl arrived not caring about the actual content. 

Well, fast forward to just after lunch today and the instructor has us write a letter (just filling in the blanks on a preformed sentence structure type thing) to a child of our choice. It could have been to any child, unborn all the way to grown. I chose to write to our unborn child that's currently growing healthy inside. I earnestly filled in the blanks and felt so many different emotions throughout. It made me think of this being our first baby we get to bring home (Lord willing). It made me think of the things we don't get to experience with our first three babies that are dancing with Jesus. It made me think of everything we wished for with the first three that we'll get to wish for with this one. It's tough. So, back to me writing the letter. I filled those blanks in thinking it was for me and the child I chose. What I didn't realize, we were to then share these letters with our table mates. Then with the whole class. Now, you may be saying "just don't share." Not that easy when there's only 10 other people in the room and every person is looking at you trying to hold it all in and failing miserably, crying. So after much internal debate, I shared. Then I felt the need to share a brief version of our story (3 losses before this pregnancy and we've finally made it past the "this is a viable pregnancy" point). Well, needless to say I lost it allllll. Lost. It. All. In front of all ten of those folks. One came over and consoled me by just touching my shoulders. What a statement. I'd never met any of these folks. Just 4 hours prior, we all walked into a room just wanting to take a class for recertification points. I walked out of there feeling a little shaken up emotionally but also with a sense of peace knowing that these 10 people truly care about others. What a relief it is knowing there are still caring individuals in society that are caring just because, even when they know very little about you. 

Here's the infamous letter:

Night all.