Navy Chevron :)

I had a lot of fun making this scarf! I'm still debating on making a flower to coordinate. The pictures don't really do colors justice...it's already dark here. I used the same basic stitches used in this post: http://wanderingthoughtsbyvicky.blogspot.com/2013/10/crocheted-chevron-cowl_24.html?m=1

I made it about twice as long and half as wide so that I could wrap the cowl around to give a different look. LOVING this pattern though!!! 😍 And it's so mindless, I can whip one up overnight. 

Here's a little better picture of the colors:

The more I look at it, the more I think I'll add a couple more rows around. 

Time to attempt a coordinating beanie. Hats have been my crochet nemesis!!! But I shan't give up. I shan't!!

Vicky, out :)

Inexpensive Crochet Hook Revamp

Ever seen these super cool polymer clay crochet hooks???

Photo from: http://www.petalstopicots.com/2013/05/polymer-clay-crochet-hooks/

Well, they are super neat looking!!! I think the purpose of adding clay to your hook is to help with the cramping you get as a bonus while crocheting. They can get expensive though. You could certainly buy an ergonomic hook like these from Clover: 

I do LOVE this hook!!!! But they can be quite pricey, especially without a coupon. 

This is how I fixed my plain ol' aluminum hooks...just grab your hook and these materials and you'll be on your way to a more comfortable grip- or so I think. 

Materials needed:

Crochet hook

Pencil grips

Putty

Scissors

Take some putty and shape it around your hook. I chose to cover the thumb grip only because that's what I need thicker. You could also wrap the whole handle to make a larger grip like the polymer clay hooks. 

Using the scissors, cut through a pencil grip. 

This makes it easier to get around the putty. I tried rolling the pencil grip over the putty----big pain in the rump.  

Now wrap the pencil grip around your clay. 

Cutting the pencil grip will (obviously) leave a line where the two sides meet again. I just placed the pencil grip in a way that the line is not under my thumb. I don't even know it's there until I look closely. Trust me...if you've ever had hand/thumb cramping from gripping your hook, the line won't make a difference (even if you are OCD like me) ;-)

Ta daaaa!! Now get to hookin'

Vicky, out :)

Crocheted Chevron Cowl

I found this pattern on Pinterest a while back and finally decided to give it a try. 

Here is the picture from the pattern:

Link to pattern on Ravelry:

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/chevron-cowl-8

Mine turned out a little differently because I used a different type of yarn but I still love it!! And I even added a flower :) 

Flower pattern: http://busyfingersbusylife.blogspot.nl/2013/04/pattern-layered-queensday-flower.html?m=1

 Instead of a button in the center, I just made a round of single crochets as then a round of slip ditches to fill the center hole. 

Here's a few pictures from my finished product...

 

Enjoy. 

Vicky, out :)

Crocheted Chevron Cowl

I found this pattern on Pinterest a while back and finally decided to give it a try. 

Here is the picture from the pattern:

Link to pattern on Ravelry:

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/chevron-cowl-8

Mine turned out a little differently because I used a different type of yarn but I still love it!! And I even added a flower :) 

Flower pattern: http://busyfingersbusylife.blogspot.nl/2013/04/pattern-layered-queensday-flower.html?m=1

 Instead of a button in the center, I just made a round of single crochets as then a round of slip ditches to fill the center hole. 

Here's a few pictures from my finished product...

 

Enjoy. 

Vicky, out :)

Only Human

Thanks, Anne :) I am only human. 

I was talking to a best friend yesterday and told her I just wanna cry but I also felt that if I started crying I may not stop. Know what she said? Cry. 

Some may say, duh Vicky. Heck, I recall telling my mom a couple weeks ago that sometimes you just gotta cry. Yet why is it so dang hard for me to take my own advice? To just cry? To just let it all out? Who knows. Maybe it's my genetic makeup. Maybe I'm "just emotional". Or maybe it's the big D word that no one is allowed to talk about...depression. **gasp** Yeah, I said it. So what! 

I'm tired of depression being a topic that people push aside. If you've never been depressed, you may not understand. It's okay, really. The person who is depressed doesn't need you to understand and have all the right answers. The person who is depressed needs you to listen, allow them to cry and vent without judgment, and don't leave (not in a physical sense-more of an "always know you're available" sense). I am eternally grateful for people like that in my life. I won't list names right now but they have been amazing! Amazing I tell ya. They know who they are because I've been relying on them lately to get me through.  

I found on webMD, a feature on ways to treat depression naturally. (http://www.m.webmd.com/depression/features/natural-treatments)

Here are a few pointers:

✔️Routine

✔️Set goals

✔️Exercise

✔️Eat healthy

✔️Enough sleep

✔️Take on responsibilities

✔️Challenge thoughts

✔️Check with dr before taking supplements

✔️Do something new

✔️Try to have fun

That last one is a biggie. One of the common symptoms of depression is lack of interest in things you usually love to do. You just don't care. Wanna know what depressed folks could use? Sometimes the depressed person may say they're busy, or they can't, or they need to _____ (fill in the blank with whatever excuse you'd like) and that is certainly the case sometimes. But if you notice a change in behavior and they say this constantly, maybe they need (read want) you to come rescue them but don't know how to ask? Or don't want to admit they need help? Because then that would mean the depressed person is admitting defeat. And by golly, it sucks to admit defeat!! I'm thankful for friends and family who have rescued me. Friends and family who have not judged. Friends and family who have just listened without talking in platitudes. 

Let me backtrack a little...back to establishing a routine and setting goals. Here's a little secret from someone who has been depressed and has had to establish a routine and set some goals. Sometimes, those goals may be as "simple" as get out of bed by 8, eat breakfast, read devotion, and go for a walk. Let me be VERY clear........ It may sound like a "simple" and a futile goal to you. But trust and believe that it is not simple to the depressed person. It may very well be the highest mountain they are climbing in the present. So please, don't make light of their goal no matter how "simple" it may be. Just encourage. If they have not met the goal, encourage them to just get up. If they have met the goal, praise them for sticktoitiveness. Hehe I like that word. 

My hope today is that someone will better understand how the depressed person feels inside. Not every depressed person feels the same way, and they certainly have several different emotions going on in there. This only scratches the surface. 

I've been awake since 445 this morning...time to eat breakfast, read my devotion, and bundle up for my walk ;-)

Anne, I am only human and I definitely don't have it together every minute of every day! But today, in this moment, I do and it feels great :)

Vicky, out!

Getting back up!

***Warning: this post may not be an easy one to write and it may cause feelings of sadness and anger and other negative emotions. I know that as I think about what will come as I type, I have tears forming.***

News flash: I see a therapist. I have for a while now. She has helped a lot. I also get so sad that I fall into a deep dark hole that I have to claw at to feel like I'm on my way out. Only to realize the next day/hour/minute, I'm still there. Some days, I'm able to feel normal. What is normal though? Being happy all the time? Psh.  Pretending like everything is okay? Yeah that's more like it. Until you fall even further in that hole you so desperately need out of... I feel crazy sometimes.

The mister and I have endured recurrent pregnancy loss. It. Sucks. I wish so desperately that we didn't have to go through this, ever. But we have been dealt this hand and we will play it. That isn't to say its all bad. I feel like Phil and I have grown closer over the past year. I feel like I've learned more about my body in the past 10 months than I knew the first 28 years. I feel like I've learned so much about who really is there for us.

Feeling alone. Heck, sometimes I can be surrounded by several people and yet still feel so alone. How can that be? Feel alone when there's someone beside you? That's not normal, right?

I feel like I've been knocked down one too many times. Like I didn't even get a punch in. Beaten to a pulp, with no hope. But ya know what? I got up. And sometimes that's what matters. Getting up. So that's what I did!!! I GOT BACK UP! Well, I'm getting back up. Lol. Grief is something that can't be given a time frame or expiration date. I wish I could say I'd be all fixed tomorrow. But the truth of this hell is that you don't know that. No one knows how long grief will last, only God. I'm learning this isn't in my control no matter how much I struggle with that. Anyone who knows me, knows I struggle with things I cannot control. Being a military wife, I've had to roll with the punches when it comes to Phil's career. So I focused on controlling things at home. Now that has become something I cannot always control. I haven't been the nicest person to be around lately and I haven't been the best wife I need to be.

Thankfully Phil is amazing (yes he knows it) and supports me no matter what. Dirty dishes piling up? It's okay, we'll use paper plates for a while. Clothes still on the chair from where I didn't take them upstairs? It's okay, we'll just get dressed downstairs. Don't want to cook what's on the menu tonight? It's okay, we'll just order out. I truly cannot imagine spending my days with any other man. He has been there through it all and even though we may argue over silly stuff, I wouldn't trade him for the world. Quirks and all :)

Well, that wasn't as hard as I thought. Flowed quite freely out of me. It may not make sense to you, and that's okay! This is more for my healing. I have decided to stop asking why, and start asking what. What does God want me to learn? What can I do to be an encouragement to others? Maybe I've gone through this past years hardships so that I can encourage someone later down the road. Maybe I've gone through this past years hardships so that Phil and I can be closer. Have a better marriage. Maybe I won't know for years to come. And today, that's okay with me.

One final thought. I found this blog post today. It describes how I've felt in the past to a T. Warning, it may be a tough one to get through. Raw emotions.
http://stillstandingmag.com/2013/10/next-time-will-better-recurrent-pregnancy-loss/

You may never need this advice. But if you do, I hope you'll just get back up.

Vicky, out. :)

Too old for that!

Yes, I realize I'm still in my twenties (at least for a few more months)! But.....we went to a friends last night and camped outside. Tent, air mattress, blanket and pillow. Some realizations? 

One- I do not like the cold. Big shock there, huh? I had my husband and two pugs in the tent to help with warmth but let me tell you, it isn't enough. I even had on a pair of shorts, running tight pants (think UnderArmor), sleep pants, a tank top, two t-shirts, a sweatshirt, and socks thick enough to wear in the arctic. 

Two- air mattresses. are. not. comfortable. Especially the ones that don't hold air all night long. You may be thinking, "it's better than the ground!" And guess what?! I think you'd be wrong. Haha. 

Three- I am terrified of "haunted" or "scary" things. Still. Another big shock! Pshh. The friends we went to visit put on a scary walk through the woods. My husband says he's paid $20 for haunted houses that weren't as good as this one. Good is a relative term. In no way would I describe this scariness as good. Why in God's green Earth would anyone want to feel like that, on purpose?!? I tried to be brave and go through. I started by saying I don't like to be scared and please don't let them touch me. I made it about 10 feet in before the panic attack ensued. Panic attack. Trouble breathing, paralyzed in place, sobbing. Even though I knew it was fake...I saw every person getting dressed up to scare...I knew they wouldn't hurt me...yet I still couldn't do it. Call me a wuss, pansy, crybaby, etc. I'm okay with it. 

Four- sleeping for an hour at a time (even if it is for 12 hours) is no bueno. I feel like I've lost a day because today has been spent napping and still feeling tired. 

Conclusion? I really do like camping. If it is in an RV with a bed and temp control. :)

Time to get out of bed, splash some cold water on my face, and get ready for some Buckeye football! Go Bucks!!

In the beginning...

Welp, I've joined the blogging world. I have been considering this for the past few years and finally decided now is the time. Better late than never, right? 

The reason I finally decided? I've been advised to write. Write about my feelings. Write about my fears. Write about the positives in my life. Write about this emotional roller coaster I am riding and don't see the end in sight (yet!). I can't promise this blog will make sense to everyone. Heck, maybe I'm the only one it'll make sense to...and I need to be okay with that. I will be okay with that. My hope throughout this journey is that I will learn to embrace my emotions and work through them. I also hope that maybe, just maybe, I will shed some light for anyone interested in what it's like to be me. Ha! This will be interesting. Very! 

The topic of this blog? Psh, what is a good topic? How can I possibly narrow it down to just one??? Pregnancy loss? No, my life is about more than just that. Craftiness? Ha...yeah I could probably post only about crafts that I complete or desire to complete. But again, my life is more than just crafts. Navy wife life? Who wants to hear only about that!? There's so much more to life than one topic so I titled this blog Wandering Thoughts. After all, that's what I spend most of my idle time doing- thinking about anything and everything. So there you have it. A blog about my thoughts on anything and everything. 

Vicky, out. :)