Week 14...

Hmmm, exhausted doesn't begin to describe. I thought I was supposed to have this huge burst of energy coming...many it'll come next week? But it sure didn't show up this week. 

-and yes, I know exhaustion will reach a new level after baby is here. 

Get ready for the weekly updates. I'm sure some of you will get irritated. That's okay with me. This isn't for you. This is for me, my family, and the people interested in seeing every annoying thing I post. 😘

Week 14

How far along are you? 14 weeks today. 

How I’m feeling: Exhausted. Beyond. Belief. Belly is growing and there's been some growing pains for sure. 

Total weight gain: Negative 15 pounds. 

How big is baby? According to baby center app-a lemon. 3.5inches long and 1.5ounces. 

Maternity clothes: absofreakenlutely. I've been wearing these bad boys for a while. So much more comfortable than using a hair tie to "extend" the life of my pre-pregnancy pants. Even went shopping for more clothes this week while on vacation. I'm loving Motherhood and their deals. 

Stretch marks? Nope. Time to start rubbing the cocoa butter though. 

Sleep: Hahahahaha. Hold on...hahahahahahaha!!! I don't know what good sleep is anymore. I am tired a lot and wish I could get a good night's sleep but the bladder can't hold it that long anymore. Oh, and the hips are hurting too. Sitting, laying, it doesn't matter. Pillow between the knees, no pillow, it doesn't matter. 

Best moment this week: seeing Phil light up every time we talk about baby! Seeing him come help me without my prompting him. He's been amazing this pregnancy. It really does make my day!!!! 😍

Movement: I'm pretty sure baby is doing somersaults in there. It sure isn't gas. After caffeine or sugar this little munchkin is wiggly. 

Food cravings: nothing weird. Just have hankerings for certain things every once in a while. Like Mac n cheese. Or pickles. Or soft serve vanilla ice cream. But definitely not mixed. 

Food aversions: just smells. The smell of food cooking gets me. I haven't had any really bad aversions this week. I did get sick to the smell of potato salad cooking a couple weeks ago but the actual food items don't bother me. 

Belly button in or out: uh, in. 

What I Miss: going more than a couple hours between potty breaks. 

What I’m looking forward to: everything!! I can truly say I'm excited about every milestone, every ache/pain, even labor and delivery. 

Milestone: we are definitely into the second trimester no matter what source you choose to use. 😄😊😃☺️😚😁😎😂

Here's a picture from today!! I was even able to get the mister on board!! 

And some from the side (during putt putt today):

2014 Random Thoughts

This is our year. 

The mister made Senior Chief. 

We've made it to 13 weeks (so far) in this pregnancy. 

Made it through a very tough "year" of teaching. 

Hired for next school year to teach 4th grade TAG. 

I'm stoked to see what else this year holds. Especially with this pregnancy. We've heard the heartbeat more than ever. At our 8 week ultrasound we saw more than we've ever been able to see in an ultrasound no matter how far along we were. 

Here's the obligatory weekly shot- 13 weeks today. 

Yes, there's only one...that they've seen/heard. 

Yes, I know it's out there for 'only' 13 weeks. 

No, I don't mind you saying in jest "sure it's only one?!?" 

Yes, I do mind if you say "dang you're big already!!" Don't you think I know that?

No, I don't eat us out of house and home. I've actually only lost weight since finding out. 

We are stoked!! Merry Christmas to us!! 

One Year Ago

One year ago, we were getting ready to say goodbye to our second little angel. 

One year ago, I sat at home with my mister. Numb. Trying to come to terms with what we had found out just 3 days prior. Trying to tell myself that the doctors knew what they were talking about but praying with every ounce of my being, that they were wrong-just this once. I would forgive them for being wrong. It would be okay if they were wrong just once. 

One year ago, I spent my last day "holding" our second little angel inside and praying that when we went to the hospital the next day we wouldn't have to go through this pain. Physical pain. Emotional pain. 

Traumatizing.

One year ago, I lay praying that I'd wake up from this terrible, terrible dream. 

We had made it to our 16 week appointment without any complications. No cramping. No bleeding. No signs. We had made it to the "safe zone" according to the first pregnancy's doctors. We were overjoyed. We couldn't wait to hold that little munchkin. Love that sweet little face. We went to our 16 week appointment ECSTATIC! Only to find out that we were not safe. We had not made it to the coveted safe zone. Our precious little munchkin had stopped growing...its heart no longer beating inside. We had to say goodbye before we had the chance to say hello. 

It's still hard. It still hurts. It still makes me double over in pain from heartache. 

But, I've made it. And if I can make it a year, I can make it two and then five and so on. Thank God I have a wonderful husband here to help me on days when I lose it, days when I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, days when I just can't. Thank God I have a husband that doesn't judge me in my weak moments. 

Thank God for friends and family that support me in ways some may never know just how much they've helped- just by a simple "I'm thinking of you" even after a year. Thank God for family and friends that acknowledge the pain my family has felt and helps share that burden by lending an ear or shoulder. 

Dang, it's so good to have people that truly care. I could never repay those people. I just have to say, thank you. Thank you from all the nooks and crannies of my (still mending) heart.